THE FAIRWAY (Paul O’Brien)
Two figures looked out o’er the fairway
Says the one to the other “My man!
Put the ball on the tee, like I showed you
And hit it as hard as you can”
“Its here that you’ll meet all the big wheels
Come on and I’ll show you the way
If you want to mix business with pleasure
It’s surely the best game to play”
There’s plenty of fun on the fairway
And all kinds of folk heed the call
But watch your back in the bunkers
And don’t take your eye off the ball
“It’s my swing I can’t get together
I’ve tried every trick in the book
You keep telling me to keep my head down
But I just can’t help sneaking a look”
“It’s only your nerves” said the old man
“You’ll get used to it after a while
Just work on your network and mingle
And learn how to loose with a smile”
“Speak only in clichés and jargon
Riddles and terms so obscure
And never say “backhand” or “dash”
‘Cos you never can really be sure
Keep your eyes peeled for bird-watchers
With their cameras and lenses so long
They’ve a habit of poking their noses
In places they just don’t belong”
“Try not to get stuck in a bunker
Unless your partners stuck too
You’ll be out of sight and of danger
When he’s slipping the vellum to you”
The apprentice was pulling the caddy
While the master showed him the ropes
And off they went into the sunset
Pockets bulging with brown envelopes